photo taken from pro.corbis.com

Sigmund Freud has been extremely criticized during his time because of how much he made a big deal out of sex. According to him, our sexuality, especially how it was developed in our most impressionable stages of childhood, leaves a very potent influence in our adult life. Just how vast and how big our sexuality can influence our life in general was thought of in mockery before.

However, today, we can see how sex can create havocs in the family and the greater society as a whole. We can’t help but agree with Freud that indeed, sex is powerful, if only to influence us in how we act towards our most intimate relationships. That is why, amidst the sexual permissiveness, sexual abuse and exploitation in our societies, sex therapy sexual healing plays empowering role to each of us. This is when we are able to reclaim our sexuality as both a positive and a pleasurable force in our life.

Sex therapy involves the using of special healing strategies and techniques so that we can actively change our negative sexual attitudes. Such negativity is the result of behaviors of sexual abuse. The process of sex therapy often includes gaining a deeper understanding of our individual sexuality and how it is being affected with what happened in terms of the abuse. Understanding how we are influenced in our sexuality also increases our body and self-awareness as well as develops a sense of positive sexuality. Through this we are able to learn new skills for experiencing sexual sharing that is safe and life affirming, in contrast to the dark and dirty times we felt about abusive sex.

Sex therapy is not an overnight thing, even though a sexual abuse can only happen one night and wreak havoc for an entire lifetime. We must not underestimate just how deep the traumas can be felt of a sexually abused person. When we begin to learn this, we begin to learn that sex must not be hastened. The therapy can take several months up to several years to be accomplished. It is only best undertaken only after a survivor of sexual abuse is relatively stable and has a safe lifestyle. The survivor must also be able to have addressed his or her more general effects of sexual abuse, like depression, self-blame, anger and trust concerns. When these are conquered, there are then different levels of sex therapy which the survivor can pursue. This can range from reading about sexual recovery and transcend into engaging in a series of sexually progressive exercises.

One of the exercises that can bring back to the life to a sexually abused sex life, is the “relearning touch techniques.” These types of exercises provide opportunities for a person to develop a new approach towards intimate touch. While some survivors can enable themselves to progress into a more complete sexual life just on their own, this is not possible to some. Others must make it an essential to enlist the help and support of a trained mental health practitioner. Although sexual abuse is just easily dismissed by some, still, a professional care is recommended to be sought for because there is a high possibility that any attempts to bring back sexual healing will only stir up traumatic memories and feelings that are too overwhelming for the survivor. However, one thing that you might not need in a therapy is a sex partner. You really don’t need to be in a relationship to make Sex therapy work. In fact, there are just specific exercises which are designed just for single survivors. Sometimes, it also comes as an advantage to be single especially when having a partner might only add up to the trauma in your present state.

However, if you do have a partner, then your partner also needs to be educated along with you. Your partner must be oriented about the sexual consequences of sexual abuse as well as the strategies for participating in overcoming the abuse through a therapy.